07.28.04 - 11:06 am
baby, I'd romance your chemicals any day of the week.

These past few days that
I've spent wandering
the center of this
place, all
corn and fields

and the smell of
summer in my lungs
when I stick my head
out the car window,
they've reminded
me that there is more
to the life that
I once had than

sleep
eat
wake
work
and die.

These past few nights,
I've spent them
being alive for
the first time in
years, since I used to sit
alone on cold
stone benches in downtown
des moines
outside some friend's band's show

still feeling the bass
throbbing and remaking
my heartbeat to match
the rhythm of youth
and rock and roll.

There was a time when I
prayed the same mantra over and over
from that perch overlooking
the river, when I watched the
eyes of the buildings
looking at me with their
wise windows.

There was
a time when I raised
my skinny arms and
wished that I would never
become what I've been
busy becoming.

I lost my
way three years ago,
left it
piece by piece
in a succession of
lover's beds,

shreds
of myself left along with my
pride.

I've spent this time
picking up the shredded
parts you left
me with,
trying to put them
together, a humpty dumpty puzzle
out of tissue paper composed
by wet hands.

And it is in the
darkness and smoke of
this Oasis that I find myself
believing that
I am something that
I wanted to be, somewhere
hiding in this mess of a facade.

It is with these words, screamed in
blackness back to a gyrating singer
as I swirl and shout and
the world is perfect, I am perfect
and he is perfect and we are
all sweaty and dirty
and reduced to our most human of
states, nothing but pure
emotion shrieked above
the cacophony of the guitar and
I am alive again,

so give me
two shots to the
back of my head

because I
can die happy now.


------------------------------
So I went to Iowa City this weekend and saw My Chemical Romance and they rocked my socks off and made me feel pretty good. Awww yeah.