06.14.04 - 1:07 am
drunken elegy.

This is the last song that
I will write for you, my darling;
this is my last elegy to your
perfection
and my mistakes.

If I knew how I would make for you
a catalogue of my sins, replete
with glossy full-page
spreads of bodies illicitly
intertwined
in dorm room darkness
and edit it down to my own version
of the truth.

If I knew how, I'd admit to you
all the things I'd never admit
to myself;
all the things that you always
wanted me to admit to.

Oh my darling, oh my
darling.

These are the last words
that I will devote to you, for you are
no longer my love; no, you saw to that
two and a half years ago
in a friend's backyard.

We walked outside, I remember it
like it just pierced my flesh; you
asked me about A.

You asked me when
the last time was?

I told you.

I slept with him later,
in retaliation,
afterwards,
in an attempt to make you suffer
by psychic ability.

You didn't know how
lonely I was and how much
I wished you were the man
you are now.

That's why it's so hard to write this
last song for you, my darling; you
who came back into
my existence so randomly.

I don't know if you
realized you
became the man I needed
when you left
me.

============================

Dear you, Fuck off or admit that you miss me. Love, Me. PS: sorry so shitty, am drunk right now.